WHY WINE IS ESSENTIAL TO BEING A GOOD MOTHER

When you think of motherhood, ingesting substances is not the first thing that comes to mind. But a lot of us mothers would tell you that they have become an integral part of the process. Take coffee. Coffee is what gives me the energy every single morning to rise up and mother the little people I’m responsible for. I look forward to it, and deep down I believe that it makes me a better person. Maybe even a better mother (gasp). The smell, the taste, the jolt of electricity that seems to course through my body after I’ve had my first cup — it is life giving, awakening the half-asleep zombie who was forced to emerge before the sun in the wee hours of the morning to pack lunches, make breakfast and prepare her irritable offspring for the day that lies ahead.

Now wine, on the other hand, is the very antithesis of coffee. But to a certain set of mothers, myself included, it is no less important to the daily grind of rearing our children. In fact, the promise of wine at the end of a particularly challenging day of motherhood is like a beacon in the darkest of nights. It is the reward for a job well done. It is the spoils of war, if you will. I genuinely look forward to it and how consuming a single glass slows me down and transports me to a state of calm, after a day that is chock full of crazy. I don’t look at my nightly glass of cheer as a form of stress management or self medication and I certainly don’t need it (well, “need” is probably debatable). I, like a lot of mothers I know, consume that glass of wine at the end of the day because we truly enjoy relishing the time it takes to enjoy it, time that isn’t being interrupted to get someone a juice box or explain why painting the family dog isn’t a good idea.

At the end of every day I lovingly and efficiently tuck my charming and incessant little humans into bed, and then greedily reap the benefits of a quiet house. Armed with a glass of relaxation in one hand and a good book or remote in the other, I settle in on the couch that I’ve been neglecting all day, finally ready to enjoy a rare moment of peace. As I linger over my glass, I’m focused on enjoying the warmth that washes over me, versus acknowledging the pile of unfolded laundry that’s eyeing me from the dining room table, silently judging my indulgence.

After seven years of being in the parenting trenches, this is what I know for sure: Parenting is hard and mothering is exhausting. At the end of each full and moderately productive day, a glass of perfectly chilled Riesling can restore your sanity and leave you prepared to suit up and do battle the next day.

Wine and Pot Playdates Are Becoming the Norm for Millennial Moms

Wine-y moms are all over Instagram — not complainers, just lovers of the daytime glass of wine while shuffling their kid or kids from place to place.

There’s even wine-mom merch; socks, sweatshirts, and T-shirts with sayings like: “If you can read this, bring me a drink,” or “Let’s get ready to stumble.”

Whether you judge it or not, that sippy cup may not be filled with juice — it may be filled with what moms call “mommy juice,” and it’s become more and more acceptable to take the edge off of 24-hour parenting and screaming kids with a little Rosé or Pinot Grigio. Especially after going through a long pregnancy sober.

Last Sunday’s New York Times even covered a sober mom who was trying to survive in a wine-mom culture, saying mommy winos are more prevalent than people think. But it can easily get out of control, too. A playdate with a wine can soon turn into hours of mommy talk and two bottles down, then it starts happening on a daily basis.

Kelly Clarkson once told People when raising children, “wine is necessary.” The Facebook group “Moms Who Need Wine” has nearly one million members.

While our culture makes it look fun (See Bad Moms), being social with the other moms in your neighborhood oftentimes requires booze. But that comes with nasty hangovers that can affect your mornings, and your parenting. Also, studies show that a parent’s relationship with alcohol and the way we treat booze in front of them has a direct influence on a child.

We spoke to mommy expert Lyss Stern, mom of three and owner Divamoms.com, a lifestyle company for moms. She is also the bestselling author of If You Give a Mom a Martini: 100 Ways to Find 10 Blissful Minutes for Yourself, and talks about moms and drinking in the Manhattan social scene.

She does not tell moms to go out and get drunk, and says that you have to control it. A glass of wine (especially red wine) can be very good for you, your health and your sleep. She notes that moms that cannot drink for various reasons should find other ways to de-stress, like yoga, mediation, walking, taking a hot bubble bath, and trying to get a good nights sleep.

Stern says that many moms do drink, (she even has a DeLysscious Martini recipe in the book) and often have book parties to unwind with a glass of wine.

“Moms sometimes drink at book parties, at work events, moms night out dinners,” Stern says. “But I have yet to ever see a mom get out of control with her drinking. The moms that I know and work with are most responsible. I also think that more and more moms are also very health conscious and responsible. Would not want to get drunk and or have that feeling the next morning of a hang over.”

But that’s not all moms.

Boston mom Laura McKowen started a blog about drinking and how our mommy culture glorifies that sweet glass of wine to take the edge off.

“It was definitely a thing that was prized in mommy culture, to drink, and to drink because you were a mom, because you had kids. You needed this,” Laura McKowen tells WBZ-TV “It was like a joke,” she said. “The kids have their sippy cups and we have our sippy cups, the wine.”

But, she adds, “Eventually, I would have lost custody of my daughter. It was inevitable,” she said.

The number of women who consumed more than four drinks a day rose almost 60 percent between 2002 and 2013, according to the National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions. And a JAMA Psychiatry study found that between 2002 and 2013, “high-risk drinking,” or four or more drinks a day, was steadily rising among moms.

Cindy Feinberg, President of The Recovery Coach New York, tells Personal Space the mommy-wine culture is in both the suburbs and the city. “It starts as a social thing, making new mommy friends … socializing isn’t all that easy for some people, it starts with a glass of wine. I don’t think everyone who drinks with kids has a problem with alcohol, but there are people who cross the line,” she says.

Feinberg, a recovering alcoholic herself who is now 32 years sober, says that drinking is especially a problem for moms because everything gets lowered, your reactions are slower. “If your kid falls are you able to react as quickly? I doubt it.”

“It becomes a moral question for some people,” she adds. “is it OK to drink during the day while you’re with your toddler… when I was a mom that was social, it didn’t really come into play until they were older, but now alcohol and wine are served at playdates, it’s among the millennial moms — the 30’s crowd.”

Feinberg says that for a lot of people who have left careers to raise a baby, boredom sets in and it’s hard to keep your sanity, or just everybody’s doing it and it seems normal. But she’s helped people who have gone too far, passing out, blacking out, and unable to care for the kid.

“I often hear ‘I was blacked out and drove drunk,’ [and] many parents now have to be monitored because of substance abuse,” she says. “It’s definitely more people than you think, [and} there’s a lot of pot too. Where it’s legal, dispensaries [have] edibles and it’s so easy to take. And alcohol is served at parties, even school functions have alcohol.”

If you find yourself on a slippery slope, talk to a professional and you can take measures to stop, Feinberg says. There are questions you can answer to find out if you’re being social or if you have a problem.

Also, having a nanny makes it easier to get drunk, because there is a certain level of ease and less consequences to deal with when someone is there to take care of the children.

“It is a big part of our culture, and I have had many clients go to rehab, addiction is a hard disease to break,” Feinberg adds. “I have a lot of empathy for moms, but there is a whole world of fun, sober moms out there.”

The Twin Mom Survival Guide: The First Six Months

Seven survival skills from a twin mom to help adjust to life with two.

It gets better. When I was pregnant, the twin moms I know indoctrinated me into their club by informing me of the twin mantra I would be repeating to myself every day for the first few months. I had no idea what they were talking about because I was happily decorating the nursery, buying adorable baby clothes and going on organizational rampages through the house (the tape on my label maker had to be replaced several times). My biggest concern was if my newly formed cankles would ever go away. Then my husband and I brought little Theo and Gemma home from the hospital, and I called all my twin mom friends and made them remind me of the mantra every day. Because those first few months were crazypants.

Now my babies are six months old and I wanted to share a few things that helped me adapt to my new situation. The last time I had to adapt to a new life this quickly was when I arrived at USC my freshman year from my small town in Virginia. Unfortunately frat parties and jungle juice were not going to get me through twin parenting.

Survival Skill #1:

When your babies are both crying at the same time, force yourself to laugh at how ridiculous the situation is as you go back and forth soothing them. Because this will happen and it sucks. The good news is, for me and most of my twin mom friends, you usually have one mellow baby and one feisty baby. This will cut down on the dual meltdowns, although in my case, we had a Freaky Friday situation and the mellow and feisty one switched places around month three. That was slightly confusing, but hey, we were happy one was still mellow.

Survival Skill #2:

Invest in two swings. You don’t need two activity mats, you don’t need two Sophie the Giraffes and you definitely don’t need those twenty Aden and Anais swaddle blankets you panicked and registered for at the last minute. But two swings are the gift that keeps on giving. My babies fell asleep in them when they were under three months and now that they’re six months, they immediately relax and play with the mobile part while they’re swinging. Two days ago they were both upset from teething and I put them in the swings with their teether toys and they were smiling within two minutes.

Survival Skill #3:

Don’t hang out with singleton moms for at least a month after you give birth. Being a mom is exhausting and challenging for everyone and I’m not taking any part of that away from singleton moms. But for that first month, it’s tough to hear them talk about how hard it is with one baby. That being said, I imagine a mom of triplets would think I’m a complete wuss. But take my advice on this one because in your exhausted state, you don’t want to say something to one of your friends you’ll regret later once you’ve gotten more than two hours of sleep and your filter is back intact.

Survival Skill #4:

Do your dark circles a favor and blend YSL Touche Eclat with Benefit Erase Paste all over those swollen bad boys. First put on the Touche Eclat, then the Erase Paste. The combo is unbeatable and I at least looked fifty percent less exhausted than I felt when I finally left the house for my first big grocery store outing.

Survival Skill #5:

If someone asks you if they can help, SAY YES! Even if you don’t have a job for them at that exact moment, say yes because you will. Twins are an all hands on deck situation those first few months. I don’t care if this person is a satellite friend you barely know, they said they want to help, so let them!

Mother breastfeeding twin baby boys (3-6 months), mid section

Survival Skill #6:

Learn the art of the double bottle feed (and make sure your husband, boyfriend, partner, etc. does too!). First, you need two of these rocker chairs (obviously there are many options, but I found these to be the best). Then bib up your babies, take a seat in front of them and feed them both at the same time. When you need to burp one baby and the other one is screaming because they want to continue eating, you can prop their bottle up with a few blankets. And like everything else with twins, this gets sooooo much easier as they get older.

Survival Skill #7:

Repeat the twin mantra whenever you’re feeling yourself downward spiral. IT GETS BETTER. The first time your babies smile at each other is the coolest thing ever and nothing compares to that moment. Oh, and the other piece of good news – those cankles totally go away.

What is So Special for the Bat Onesies: Check out You?

WBaby is about to arrive, more than a few weeks before seeing his adorable little face. The arrival of a child is synonymous with joy, happiness and great changes but also preparations!

What will baby wear during his first days and weeks of life? Size, shape, material the choice of the bat Onesies of birth is not made lightly. Whether you are a future parent or you want to give birth bat Onesies to your family, here are some tips for choosing them.

A must-have birth gift

Offering birth bat Onesies to happy parents for the arrival of their little one is a very good idea! Baby bat Onesies are a must-have gift and always very popular.

Choose natural materials like cotton and linen, which do not cause allergy and are gentle on the skin. During her first weeks of life, baby will wear comfortable bat Onesies: pajamas, bodysuits and frogs. Parents will have already planned some outfits for the birth, and a baby is growing so fast (it takes 10 to 30 grams per day!).

It is therefore advisable to offer bat Onesies size 3 to 6 months, to ensure that it has time to wear them. Unless you see the parents before birth, for a baby shower for example, you can offer a birth kit with usually a body, hat, socks, and a blanket!

What is needed for maternity? And for the return home?

After childbirth, we usually spend 3 to 5 days at the maternity ward. It is important to prepare a complete bag in advance so you do not miss anything during these first days with your baby and be as comfortable as possible.

Here is a list of bat Onesies and accessories to provide for your baby during the stay at the maternity ward (to be taken in size 0 to 1 month):

  • six easy-to-put body’s (which do not slip through the head but open in front with pressure)
  • One pajama a day (think of the regurgitations or vomit that will be frequent!)
  • an indispensable cotton hat to keep baby warm
  • 2 to 3 pairs of cotton socks
  • a pair of slippers
  • a sleeping bag
  • 2 to 3 brassieres or small vests

Once back home, it will be necessary to have available some outfits in size 1 and 3 months: bodysuits, rompers, rompers, some hats, socks, slippers, vests, pajamas and one or two sleeping bags, dressed dresses when we receive family and loved ones (who will all want a little photo with the newborn).

Remember to adapt your baby’s outfits to the climate and the season, avoiding too much coverage. In fact, a baby overly covered is dehydrated quickly.

Some last tips

At birth, a baby is fragile and needs maximum comfort. It will therefore be necessary to choose easy to put on bat Onesies (which open in front, behind or at the crotch), comfortable (bodysuits, sleepers, pajamas) and soft and natural materials (cotton, linen).

Regarding size, reserve size 0 for babies born prematurely or small size; opt for clothing from 1 month.

Indeed, you should not buy too many outfits for the first few months, because you will have to change very often the wardrobe of your little one during his first months and the first year of his life. I bought a lot of bat Onesies size 0, 1 and 3 months because they were too cute but they stayed in the closet because baby grew up very fast!

Avoid as much as possible bat Onesies that fold because a baby does not move much, it can irritate him and mark his skin. In this sense, the body is the ideal outfit, you can refuel body.

If you want to give birth bat Onesies, prefer to choose a size above and a piece suitable for the next season.

That’s it, you know everything about how to dress baby from head to toe for the first weeks to allow him to discover life in the greatest comfort!

It is not advisable to buy too much birth bat Onesies for your baby, because sometimes baby is big at birth and it will hardly carry them. In order to avoid any loss of money, it is best to buy bat Onesies in 1 month or 3 months. Anyway, even if the bat Onesies are a little too big, it will not shock anyone. Otherwise you will find cheap bat Onesies for your baby on the internet or in the shops.

Bat Onesies 1 Month and 3 Months

For bat Onesies in size 1 month, do not hesitate to take 3 or 4 pajamas and a seasonal outfit to please you.

But again, baby will not wear clothing in size 1 month long, so do not buy too much bat Onesies in this size.

However, in 3 months, you can increase the quantities. Prefer pajamas because babies are much better in pajamas than in outfits where often they are too tight at the waist.

For 3 months, you can take at least 15 bodies, 7 pajamas and 2 outfits for the parents’ pleasure.

Bat Onesies 6-9 Months

Baby continues to grow visibly. Between 6 and 9 months, to be comfortable, 15 bodies, 10 pajamas and 5 outfits of the season will do.

Bat Onesies

Baby arrives at a stage where he begins to get dirty a lot and especially does not necessarily grow as fast as when he was still a baby. The bat Onesies are perfect options for that time.

At this age, it is better to have more outfits rather than pajamas. It is possible to shoot with 10 bodies, 7 pajamas and 8 outfits.

Regarding coats, hats or gloves, you can buy one in size 3 months, one in size 6 months and one in size 12 months.

No need to multiply costs by deciding to buy several coats, scarves and hats in the same size, unless you choose fancy hats to have fun.

Note, for bibs, you can buy large quantities in the vicinity of 10, because they get dirty very quickly. Tip: avoid bibs too small. Better to buy large sizes directly. Baby bat Onesies will be better protected.